From: Greg Parkinson
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: Aesthetics and Race
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 1997 08:43:05 +0000

Daniel Chase Edmonds wrote:
 
> Again, why do you want the body to be the locus for all things transitory
> and the mind the locus of identity? Because when the body deteriorates,
> there is still someone who is recognizable leftover? The same is true, I
> think, when the mind deteriorates, though there is a certain w.m. who
> would be better able to speak to this than I. The point is, then, that
> this line between mind and body and where our identity is located is a
> blurry blurry one at best.

My former lover Eddie had amazing eyes.  Cuban; big brown puppydog
eyes that were full of gentleness and mischief.  Sometimes I would
look at him, look at his eyes, and all the love I felt for him would
overpower me.  He had a very strong, distinct personality in that
he had specific likes and dislikes and ways he thought things should
be done.

When he was really sick and his body was wasted and his mind was
deteriorated I could still look at his eyes and get the same feeling
I always had, and I could struggle to communicate with him and be
aware that even in that struggle the same facets of his personality
that had always been there were still there.

When he was in a coma and there was no more evidence of his personality,
I could lie next to him in bed and recognize the way his hand felt in
mine, the way he smelled, the sound of his breathing, the shape of
his lips.  *He* was still there.

For me, knowing someone well includes knowing them physically in the
sense of knowing their body language, how they smell, how their skin
feels, that sort of thing.  In my experience, I can't know someone well 
that I'd never met in person.  

I also know that in bar-type situations if I find someone interesting 
I'll watch them for a while - how they stand, how they talk, how they
smile, what their body does - before I talk to them.  I know that I'll
be able to tell a lot from that observation that will hopefully (if it's
positive) be borne out in conversation.

This has gone pretty far astray from the original topic of
attrativeness,
I think.