From: firstname.lastname@example.org (William Geronimo Bohrer)
Subject: Near Death Experiences: Accidental Outings
Date: 7 Dec 1994 18:24:24 -0600
Organization: Illuminati Online
Sorry for the weird cross-postings, I didn't want my pals on my
regular hangouts to miss out, this one made me laugh till I choked,
having only yesterday received a lovely postcard from a pal in SF,
that was found above the row of mailboxes at the fourplex where I
live, displayed in all it's glory... there's out, and then there's
them finding out exactly it is you *do* when you're out... 8>)
This is an excerpt from "The Nose" #24, an article called "The Black
Box" which is exceprts of flight recorder transcripts...
[this is a *truly* classic issue, btw, highly recommended -- Bill]
My favorite, under what I would call "most horrifying near death
[June 1, 1968, anc Allison propjet Convair CV-580, on a scheduled
charter flight from Minneapolis to Chicago O'Hare]
[warning Klaxon sounds indicating engine failure]
First Officer: We've lost our outboard one.
Captain: Tell [the stewardess] to prepare passengers for
emergency landing. We've got a cherry on outboard
one. [ a 'cherry' is slang for the red ENGINE
FAILURE light on the control panel]
First Officer: I just want to say, Captain, that there have been
nights up here, while we screamed through the sky
over ghost-flecked wastes of Utah, or flew into
Minnesota's frosty dawn, that I"ve wished myself
a woman, so that you could devour me, protect me,
make a baby inside of me. I want to take your
[expletive deleted] and shoot your hot [expletive
deleted] into my loving throat, and lick you like
a mother cat cleaning her kittens. I"ve wanted
Captain: There she goes. Outboard one back on line.
Probably just a fuel bubble.
First Officer: The... the warning light's still on...
Captain: That's the all-frequencies transmit indicator.
O'Hare Tower: [laughter]
Bill Bohrer --- Wanna feel my scalp?
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