From: (William Geronimo Bohrer)
Subject: Near Death Experiences: Accidental Outings
Date: 7 Dec 1994 18:24:24 -0600
Organization: Illuminati Online

Sorry for the weird cross-postings, I didn't want my pals on my
regular hangouts to miss out, this one made me laugh till I choked,
having only yesterday received a lovely postcard from a pal in SF,
that was found above the row of mailboxes at the fourplex where I
live, displayed in all it's glory... there's out, and then there's
them finding out exactly it is you *do* when you're out... 8>)



This is an excerpt from "The Nose" #24, an article called "The Black
Box" which is exceprts of flight recorder transcripts...
[this is a *truly* classic issue, btw, highly recommended -- Bill]

My favorite, under what I would call "most horrifying near death


[June 1, 1968, anc Allison propjet Convair CV-580, on a scheduled
charter flight from Minneapolis to Chicago O'Hare]

Captain:	Oops.

  [warning Klaxon sounds indicating engine failure]

First Officer:	We've lost our outboard one.

Captain:	Tell [the stewardess] to prepare passengers for
		emergency landing.  We've got a cherry on outboard
		one. [ a 'cherry' is slang for the red ENGINE
		FAILURE light on the control panel]

First Officer:	I just want to say, Captain, that there have been 
		nights up here, while we screamed through the sky
		over ghost-flecked wastes of Utah, or flew into
		Minnesota's frosty dawn, that I"ve wished myself
		a woman, so that you could devour me, protect me,
		make a baby inside of me.  I want to take your 
		[expletive deleted] and shoot your hot [expletive
		deleted] into my loving throat, and lick you like
		a mother cat cleaning her kittens.  I"ve wanted
		to ---

Captain:	There she goes.  Outboard one back on line.  
		Probably just a fuel bubble.

First Officer:	The... the warning light's still on...

Captain:	That's the all-frequencies transmit indicator.

O'Hare Tower:	[laughter]

Bill Bohrer		---		Wanna feel my scalp?
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