From: jacobson@selway.umt.edu (Robert B Jacobson)
Newsgroups: alt.politics.homosexuality,alt.homosexual,alt.sex.motss,alt.fan.rush-limbaugh
Subject: Re: Their REAL reason against homo marriage
Date: 25 Aug 1994 10:24:41 -0600

In article <33enb0$gnp@agate.berkeley.edu>,
Thomas C. Hartman  wrote:
>In article ,
>Ted Krueger  wrote:
>>In article ,
>>Peter Skaliks  wrote:
>>> krueger@Starbase.NeoSoft.COM (Ted Krueger) writes:
>
>>> > That's not my problem.  It is the problem of the person who chose to 
>>> > be gay.
>
>>> How many times do you have to be told Ted, before it sinks in that nobody 
>>> presented you with a menu with boxes marked straight or gay, and you 
>>> CHOSE straight. People don't CHOOSE their sexual orientation. It is a 
>>> given and people simply have to wrestle with the implications inherent in 
>>> their orientation.
>
>>Prove that this is true.  We have gone over this time and time again, and 
>>you have only your opinions and unsubstantiated claims to fall back upon.

When I was teen-aged, I was attracted to other guys.  When I went away to 
college, I was ashamed of my attraction and strove dilligently to be 
attracted to women; I really wanted a relationship and wanted to be loved 
and to love another person in "that special way."  I dated women, but was 
sexually attracted to men.  When I was 20, I fell in love with a woman 
and at age 21, we got married.  I hoped my attraction to men would just 
sort of drift away or stop completely.  I struggled for 14 years in this 
marriage and had two children.  I tried and tried and tried to be happy 
in my marriage, but the underlying fact was that I was gay.  Period.  I 
really tried to choose to be straight, but it just wouldn't work.  
Finally, after years of struggling and a lot of counseling and therapy, 
we decided it was best to end the marriage.  So, from personal 
experience, I can honestly say that one does not CHOOSE one's sexual 
orientation.  It is not a choice.  It just is.  No one, I don't care how 
vehement they are, can ever convince me that it is a choice to go through 
the hell that I did.  I wouldn't choose to be gay, if it were a choice.  
I'd much rather live the simple life and not have to defent myself 
against boneheads and bigots.  I couldn't and I suggest that no one 
really can choose their sexual orientation.  I'm happy to say now that my 
ex-wife continues to be a good friend and is supportive of my 
relationship with another man; my children love me (in fact, my 16 year 
old son LIVES with my partner and me); my family of origin hasn't 
rejected me; and I have a strong spiritual life (non-christian).  The 
only people that I have problems with are those who don't even try to 
understand what I've been through and look at the world through their 
narrow view that says "god" hates me and that justifies their bigotry and 
ignorance.

Repeat after me:  "It's not a choice to be gay or straight.  It just is."

Bob