From: joshc@oregon.uoregon.edu (Joshua J. Cox)
Subject: Outing Story
Date: Mon, 20 Feb 1995 11:28:57 -0800

I'm sure these outing tales are constantly getting posted here, but I
wouldn't really know since the Usenet is not my usual haunting ground. 
This is my own personal experience that a friend suggested I post. Some
time has passed since I wrote it, but here it is:
-----------

I came out to my parents last night on the phone.  I had talked to my Mom
earlier in the evening about how I'd been kinda stood up on an implied
date, and how I was disappointed, but I did the usual obfiscation of
truth.  No gendered pronouns, etc, etc.  It bugged me, and in light of my
New Year's Resolution to come out to my family, I really wanted to come
out to her then and there.  At one point, I even asked Mom to hold on for
a second.  I put the phone down, walked into the next room to ask my
roommate, Kevin, and his boyfriend, Brian, what they thought about coming
out over the phone instead of in person, but then realized they knew
nothing more about the appropriateness of such an act than I did.   I went
back and finished the phone conversation without saying a single outing
word.  I came very close.

That night Kevin, Brian, and I watched "The Wedding Banquet," and at one point
we paused the movie and Kevin and Brian started making out on the couch
(thanks, guys).  When I went to restart it, Brian said, "Oh, but we're
having fun," and so I picked up the phone and half-seriously said, "Then
continue, and I'll call my parents to come out to them."  Brian jolted and
said he wanted to listen, but I brushed it off and we finished the movie.

After the movie was over, I went into the bedroom, called the wrong number,
then the right one, and told my Mom first.  Her reaction: "So?"  Dad's
reaction: "And how's the weather?"  I was (am) floored.  I was so emotionally
worked up at the time, my Mom practically had to talk me down.  "Josh,
honey, I just don't care, but you obviously do," she said.  My Father told
me how
proud he was of me for deciding to come out to them.  I expected at least
some measure of - well - *something,*  not total and complete instant
acceptance and 
gratitude that I'd told them.  Nothing!  They had no questions,
no concerns.  What is a boy to do if his parents won't even condemn
him a little, or at least show some type reserved horror?  It was all so
incredibly casual - by the end of the call my Dad and I were joking about
gay people!

I keep thinking that everything's changed, but I have to check myself every
time - nothing has changed.  If anything, things are better - the very same day.
Now if I'm going on a date and Mom asks about it, I can say his
name!  I can even use gendered pronouns!  ACK!  :convulsions:  It's going
to take me longer to accept their acceptance than it has for them to accept
me.  :)  Why doesn't everyone have it this easy?!
---------

Since this happened, my father came out to me:  he likes country music. 
Now, I'm the one calling him unnatural and perverse!  :)  (w/apologies to
those who like country/western :) )

-Josh, shaking his head in wonderment.

-- 
Joshua J. Cox
joshc@oregon.uoregon.edu
Lab Support Technician.
University Computing, University of Oregon