From: (Scott VanTussenbrook)
Newsgroups: soc.motss
Subject: Re: I Need Help Please!
Date: 31 Oct 1996 23:34:04 GMT

Matt Wear ( wrote:
: I am having a difficult time think of how I am going to tell my parents
: that I am gay.  If anyone has any ideas, or if you would be kind enough
: to share how you broke the news, please e-mail to

I sat them down and said:  "There's something i want to tell you, 
something i'm pretty sure you've already guessed, but i'd like to say it 
and get it out in the open.  Mom, Dad, I'm gay."

That seemed to work well.  I have friends who wrote letters, others who 
did it on the phone, but i thought i owed it to my folks to be right 
there looking at the whites of their eyes so they would know i was 
serious, sincere, and concerned about their reaction.  Turns out they 
*hadn't* really guessed it, and the ensuing 4 hour conversation wasn't 
exactly the most enjoyable time we've spent together, but at the end of 
it both of them said they respected the direct approach i'd taken.  Mom 
said, "i'd have been heartbroken if you had just written a letter..."  
But i knew that about my mom and that's why i told them in person.

Other things to try:

Sit them down, act all serious, and when they ask what's wrong, tell them 
you have a really really awful form of terminal cancer.  After they start 
to react, say, "just kidding!  i'm really just gay!"   :)

Or you could slip it subtly into dinner table conversation:  "Would 
someone please pass the broccoli to the homosexual?"  :)

Both suggestions come from a friend of mine, who is really worried about 
telling his mom, and wants to do it before Christmas.

Seriously, though, it may help if you can give them some books to read.  
Among what other people have suggested, "Straight Parents, Gay Children", 
"Beyond Acceptance", and "Now That You Know" are good places to start, my 
parents read all those books and they said they really helped.

Good Luck.  Keep us posted.  :)

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